Fatum
by alleluiamagiatsuioku
Summary: "Eric-senpai… You really like to act cool, huh?" "You might want to try the same one day!" – You don't need to try – in my arms, the skin of your dying body is as cold as ice . . .


_I will commit any sin._

"Eric!"

His voice shouted my name. So desperate – still so… young? The horrors of the world were so obvious to him now – of course – he was facing death. Right at this moment it seemed I was as well.

Sebastian – that damn demon – pulled those sharp knives from my stomach and I collapsed, the pain still lingering in my body like the aftermath of drinking poison wine. Rich and savoury it bubbled in my guts as a sickening sound of pain appeared from my lips.

_If that allows me to share your pain. _

I found out I wasn't terribly hurt from the fact I could still hear Alan's voice. That was silly – I would be able to hear his voice no matter what the situation. It changes all the time. Rough and stoic to cheerful and assuring, sometimes nostalgia had a part in it too, leading to insanity. But this time it was sad, so incredibly sad…

"Have you… broken our promise?"

I swayed exhaustedly, trying to keep my eyes open. I was so tired… Alan's heartbreaking voice kept me awake – I had to listen to every word.

"Have you continued to sin for my sake?!"

I wanted to deny it. Say something cheesy like 'I would never upset my light' or something like that, to lift his spirits in a way – make him laugh in the most contrasting kind of situation. Instead I didn't – because I wanted to save him. I couldn't give up get, not on him.

_When you die,_

"I only need one more…" I spoke with exhaustion in my tone, "… just one more." I arched my head back slightly and started to yell in the most desperate way – like a lion being teased for its meat. "Just one more soul and I could save Alan!"

Yes, that's right. One single soul. It wasn't a problem right? I had collected so… so many that just one more wouldn't be a problem right? A meaningless pure soul that probably had a family, people who loved them. I would take it away for the sake of one. Just… one.

_I will kiss your icy cheek once._

"Stop it!" I didn't realise Sebastian raising my saw to strike but only saw when Alan screamed and pushed Sebastian out of the way, death scythe clattering onto the ground in the process. Alan collapsed, his throat clenched with each breath which caused a sob to escape it.

"Alan…" I mutter, unable to take my eyes off the withering form.

"Why are you still saying things like that?" Alan spoke tearfully; his voice broke my heart as if he didn't believe I was breaking our promise. He turned to me and shouted. "Stop it already!"

I didn't get that last part very much, as my focus had moved to someone else. A soul, standing right there for me to see. He was going to die anyway; somebody that selfish couldn't live in this world without regrets. Ciel Phantomhive…

"But there's a soul right there…" I slur, the corners of my lips quirking up in sadistic delight. Am I finally breaking? I picked up my saw with jerking and rigid movements and turned away from Alan.

"Ciel Phantomhive…"

One more soul. A single one. I could save him. He didn't have to die. He could live. Without pain. No regrets. Just this single soul. One more…

"Your soul is…!"

Everything happened in a blur. He was moved. The demon. Steps. A horrified gasp. Blood. The swinging of my scythe. A new body in its place.

Alan?

_Let's go on a trip,_

"Alan…"

_Let's go on a trip,_

"Alan?"

_Starting from today, the two of us piling up our lonely shadows._

"ALAN!"

_Piling up the Ericas' loneliness._

Yes, Ericas'. Solitude. Being alone when you're born to the moment of death. That wasn't supposed to happen. You're with somebody most of your life, Alan. Laughing and smiling, crying and breaking. You're always with someone. Not all the time. Sometimes you want to be alone, get away from everything.

You don't need to be lonely anymore Alan, I'm here. I'll help you. You can live on with me, if you like.

Did you agree to that when you decided to run away with me? That's good.

But if you did… why did you hold the scent of death?

_I was born alone to lean close to you._

I watched the light disappear from his eyes and the faint, dying smile of farewell and gratitude fade away from his face as the pain took over. The unmistakable feeling of loneliness, regret and guilt, but those were limited to the most obvious.

When I realised my eyes were moist I had already buried my face into Alan's chest, sobbing quietly. His voice calling my name and the secretly delightful words he had once spoken to me echoed in my mind as I clutched his dead body.

"If you die… then for what…?"

_Yes, the reason I was born alone is so that the two of us could meet._

"… Then for what have I dirtied my hands with the murders of **one thousand innocent people?!**"

Through my haze of pain I heard the bastard clapping. Mocking me for my overall performance, spinning on the stage of death was my specialty and he was making fun of it.

"Congratulations. You have finally obtained one thousand souls." Sebastian ridiculed, a cunning smirk gracing his pale lips. "No…" He changed his tone and turned away from me, the smile disappeared from his face in an instant, "… obtained one thousand **meaningless **souls."

I barely had the strength and the will to turn, but I did it anyway. "Demon," I accused.

I didn't hear much after that, the demon's voice became distorted and quieter as I faced back to Alan. Just thinking of him now caused a chill to travel down my spine. With a trembling hand I traced the skin of his face, his jaw, the bridge of his nose, his forehead, his opened eyes, and his lips, all of which were pale and cold, just like the world he knew we were in.

_My friend, that is our fate._

Alan…

Alan…

Alan…

As I stared into his lifeless eyes something snapped inside of me at what the demon was saying.

"There is no need to grieve, because the fate of the two of you is the same. . . death."

Death? Was that our fate all along? Of course, it was certain. Alan was destined to die a lonely death by the thorns of death, I was destined to die death without him – yet another lonely death – at the hands of. . .

"Kill me, demon." I said bitterly, stepping away from Alan's body slowly and dejectedly. Sebastian doesn't respond, so I walked towards him. There was no point in trying to escape fate.

"Please… kill me." I begged, surely I had never sounded this grief-sickened, so weak and fragile at the hands of my enemy.

"To go through all the trouble to grant a death-wish."

_My friend, since that is our fate_

"Unfortunately, this kind of patronage is not akin to my nature." He walked over to his lord like an obedient dog waiting for his bone. "Young Master, how should I handle this?"

"There's no need to ask, kill him." Ciel spoke coldly, unwavering. I wasn't surprised. The only thing that selfish monster is capable of is using people as his pawns.

Sebastian placed a hand over his non-existent heart, bowing and doing his usual catchphrase of loyalty before he walked over to me.

I didn't notice it at all. Alan's death scythe shouldn't be dirtied, especially not with my sinning blood. But my mind was clouded with despair and I acted on instinct.

". . . Alan's Death Scythe?"

"Is there a problem?"

Of course there was. "No…"

"To not let your filthy blood dirty Alan-san's Death Scythe or to end your life with Alan-san's Death Scythe?"

Would you expect me to know? I couldn't figure out the answers . . . "I don't know anymore . . ."

"Oh? You don't know?"

His smug sounding voice didn't make me angry, it saddened me even more. I can't be saved.

"I really don't know anymore . . ."

He could never be saved. Why was his life so precious? Was it the fact that the contrast between his living and his dying smile made me want to save him? No, I'd never know the answer, I couldn't think straight. What was wrong with me?

"Everything of everything up 'till now has been completely pointless . . ."

_We don't need tears anymore._

I couldn't hear anything anymore. I wondered if he can hear me. If I called out his name, would he be able to hear me from up there? No, he was too far away now . . .

A single name echoed in my mind before I met the end.

**Alan.**

_We don't need tears anymore._

**A/N: I hope you liked it! I've fallen in love with this pairing after watching the second musical (Four years late. . .) and I had to write a fanfic about them XD**


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